Deuteronomy 8

Turns out that there was a very good reason why God forced the Israelites into the desert for four decades, and no, it wasn't to escape the chains of slavery in Egypt. It was all a test to see how humble the Israelites wereand how dedicated they were to keeping His commandments.

"He humbled thee," Moses tells the no doubt thinning crowd, "and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with mana, which thou knewest not, neither did they fathers know."

"'Cause it tastes like crap," someone in the crowd yells.

Moses continues. "That He might make thee know that man doth not live by bread alone..."

"No kidding!"

"...but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live."

Here's a little aside: when I was growing up, my dad had a coin bank in the shape of a loaf of bread. On it were the words "Man does not live on bread alone." The message to me was that there is more to life than just scraping by, to just eating bread and nothing else, to denying yourself. That it was a bank reflected a emphasis on money and material goods. Never once did anyone suggest that one needed the word of God more than cash.

But let's get back to the story.

Moses tells the israelites a couple of more reasons why the arduous trip through the desert was miraculous: no one needed new clothes and no one had swollen feet. Which means that the Israelites have been wearing the same clothes for four decades. Imagine for a moment that the only clothes you had in your closet right now were perfectly preserved forty-year-old fashions. Clothes from 1973. Thanks for that, God.

"Thou shalt also consider in thine heart," Moses tells everyone, "that, as a man casteneth his son, so the Lord they God chasteneth thee. Only with more killing, obviously."

But you know what? Let's leave all of that messiness behind us. All's well that ends well, and after all, God has delivered the Israelites into the a land filled with good food and lots of water, a land where the rocks are made of iron and anyone can dig brass right out of the hills. Brass, of course, is an alloy, so it's a pretty big deal that it comes right out of the ground already smelted.

But once again, God doesn't really trust the Israelites to maintain the proper level of appreciation for all He did to--I mean for--them. He fears they will forget all about Him and the sacrifices He made for them once they start living large on conquered lands. So He does the only thing He can think of to keep everyone in line: He threatens them with destruction if they ever forget His commandments or worship other gods.

I guess He is like a parent after all.