Numbers 20

Two important things happen right away. The first is that Miriam, Moses' and Aaron's sister, dies. She passes away and is buried in one sentence, even though you'd think it would be a pretty big deal. The second is that there's no water and, unfathomably, the Israelites rail against the brothers. Given the current state of the world it's no surprise that no one learns anything from the past.

We've heard the complaints before: why would God bring the Israelites into the desert only to let them die? Why did God lead them out of the plentiful land of Egypt into the barren wasteland where they are no figs or pomegranates? How is it that Run-DMC was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame four years before Rush?

Uncharacteristically, God decides to listen for once and not go off half-cocked. He gives Moses and Aaron a rod and instructs them to speak to a rock. The rock will then spill forth water for everyone to drink. Sounds simple enough. Maybe they should have written down the instructions instead of acting like one of those waiters who shows off by memorizing your order only to bring you an open face turkey sandwich instead of the turkey club, the idiot.

The pair gather everyone together for the show and use the rod to strike the rock, which then spills forth water. God, ever the nitpicker, punishes them both harshly for striking the rock instead of talking to it, even though Aaron didn't do a thing: they will not be allowed to enter the Promised land.

Can you believe that shit? These poor guys mess up one tiny thing, an act so inconsequential that no one in their right mind could be angry about it, and now they have to stay in the desert forever? Why did God give them a stick in the first place? If God was going to be so anal about the whole thing why didn't He cut out the middle prophet just make water come from the rock? It's inconceivable.

Moses' and Aaron's problems don't end there. When their unlucky band reaches the edge of Edom Moses sends messengers to ask the king for permission to walk through town on their way to the place he and his brother can no longer enter. The messengers relay their sad story to the king, who, you may have guessed, is less than sympathetic. The king refuses to let the Israelites walk through his city, threatening to kill anyone who steps into Edom. The messengers promise to stick to the highway and even offer to pay the king for any water the cattle might drink and promise to adopt the highway and pick up litter on their way. No dice.

Faced with he prospect of having to go completely out of their way in the desert,  the Israelites trudge on to Mount Hor, where God instructs Moses to strip Aaron and give his clothes to Eleazar. Aaron promptly dies on the mountaintop. the Israelites mourn his passing for thirty days, which is more than they did for poor Miriam.