Deuteronomy 19

After God clear cuts the people already living in the Promised Land and the Israelites set up shop, they should set aside three cities as asylum for people who accidentally kill other people. Why is God forcing the issue? Because He wants to ensure that no innocent blood is spilled in the land where untold numbers are about to be slaughtered for the sin of living in a place desired by a nation with a stronger army.  I guess God does love America after all.

Like I said, only those who have accidentally killed someone, without, as the New International Version puts it, "malice aforethought," can take advantage of these special cities. The example given of an accidental killing, and I am not making this up, is if  man is chopping wood in a forest and the ax head flies off on a down stroke and buries itself in his neighbor's chest. Unless you've ever watched "Forensic Files" this is obviously an accident, which entitles the ax-wielding nonmaniac to asylum to escape the neighbor's bloodthirsty kin.

But what of the man who lies in wait for another man and murders him? That dude is shit out of luck, for even if he does make it to the special asylum land he must be dragged back to the town where the murder was committed and be put to death. I suppose the lesson here is that if you plan on killing someone invite them out wood chopping.

There is one catch, however. One can only be convicted of a crime on the testimony of two or three witnesses. So basically, it's three witnesses, because you know the defense attorney would argue that the higher standard for witnesses must be used or else why was the law delivered in that way? Lawyers. Always paying attention to how laws are written.

And wipe any thought of bearing false witness against someone. Not only does it violate one of the Ten Commandments, you will actually be punished for it. However, the threat is vague: the court is instructed to do unto the false witness what he meant to do to the accused. So I'm guessing that means lie about him? Send him to jail? Whatever it is, the false witness’s punishment should be commensurate with his intention toward the accused: a life for a life, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, and a foot for a foot. No life for a foot, or a tooth for a hand, although I consider an eye for a foot to be pretty much equal. I guess that's why I never get picked for jury duty.